MPs (should) claim for holiday expenses

ben on 15th October 2009 | 0 comments |

Embattled on all fronts and with the embarrassment of his £12k expenses payback, could things have been different if our Gordon had spent his allowance a little more wisely?

We're firmly of the opinion that money spent on home improvements, cleaners and the like is simply wasted travel budget. We once blew our new carpet fund on a 2 week jaunt to South Africa and never looked back. If only poor old Gordon Brown could have spent his £12k of dodgy allowances a little more wisely on some adventure holidays, surely he'd have a stronger chance come May.

1. "Suppose I should probably have one last go at sexing the son of the manse image up" Harley motorbike tour of South Africa --£4632
2. "Whilst I'm at it, there have been murmurs recently about my in-decisiveness, must do something about that" Navigation course -- £99
3. "And this'll show-up David bloody Cameron and his soft bicycle entourage" Township tour by bike-- £77
4. "On to policy, we need a response to the growing food import dependency, but I'm not giving those tory voting, hand-out grabbing, fox hunting farmers another penny" Wild foraging course --£160
5. "Och aye, we'll also make those dastardly backbenchers sleep in a campsite on St James's Park, that'll save on second home allowances" Luxury Tipi in Herefordshire --£250
6. "Oh, and I really did want to do something about poverty in Africa, blasted Geldof stole my limelight."  Volunteer in the Gambia -- £1085
7. "That'll be just about my work done, I'll head off on a nice safari in the run up to the election and leave that Milliband boy to do the door-to-door, trust him like my own son I do!" Safari & tropical island in Malawi --£1720
8. "Although of course, for security reasons, it'll have to be business class" Return business class fare to Africa -- £3977

Total = £12,000 well spent

Instead of all this fun, poor old G is left to pony up £12k.  Somebody give the man an award for the most overworked, under holidayed politician.

 

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It is only fair that we disclose our own ill-gotten expenses gains.

Ben: "errrm, it is true I spent over £40 of a client's expenses bill on a single shot of armagnac, there may have been some suspect taxi receipts too.  Give me a break I was young, foolish and a consultant (the three tend to go hand in hand)."

Anna: "not me gov."

Becky: "drunken lunches, but all of that was a long time ago"

The Intern: "Look, stop picking on me, there is nothing wrong with M&S luxury salads, I can't eat tuna sarnies every day.  And stop complaining about the dodgy photoshop hack, it was the best I could do."

Credits: photo of Gordon Brown caricature by Flickr user World Development Movement.  Photo of Harley Davidson burning rubber by Flickr user tirebiterz.  Photo of Metro newspaper by Flickr user renaissancechambara.  

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